Plus-one etiquette for weddings and how to word it
How to decide your wedding plus-one policy, how to make it clear on the invitation, the reply form and the website, and polite answers when guests ask.
Choose one plus-one policy and apply it to everyone, then make it clear by naming exactly who is invited on the envelope and showing the number of seats on the reply form. The website can explain it kindly. Choose your policy below for wording you can copy.
Plus-one wording for your policy
Choose your plus-one policy to get the line for the invitation, the reply form and your website.
What are the usual plus-one policies?
| Policy | Who gets a plus-one |
|---|---|
| No plus-ones | Nobody; only named guests |
| Partners only | Guests who are married, engaged or living with a partner |
| Named guests | Whoever is named on the invitation, decided case by case |
| Everyone | Every adult guest may bring someone |
A common middle ground is partners only, with a plus-one for members of the wedding party and for guests who will not know anyone else.
How do you make it clear?
- Name everyone invited on the envelope or digital invitation.
- Show the number of seats on the reply form: "We have reserved 1 seat in your honour."
- Explain on the website in one kind sentence.
- Ask for the guest's name if plus-ones are allowed, for place cards and the seating plan.
What do you say when someone asks?
Be warm and short: "We would love to have you, but we are keeping numbers small, so we are only able to invite the guests on the invitation." Apply the same answer to everyone; exceptions are what cause hurt feelings.
How does it affect the budget?
Each plus-one is a full guest for the caterer. Try the budget calculator to see what ten more guests would cost, and keep names in the guest list organiser.
For the rest of the invitation, see the wording guide.
Questions
How do you say no plus-ones politely?
Address the invitation to the guest by name only, show "1 seat" on the reply form, and add a kind line to your website explaining that you are keeping the wedding small.
Should married or engaged guests get a plus-one?
Yes. It is widely seen as polite to invite a guest's spouse, fiancé or long-term partner by name.
Should the wedding party get a plus-one?
It is a kind gesture, as they are giving their time and money to your day.
What if a guest brings someone uninvited?
Be gracious on the day, then mention it only if it matters. Clear wording before the day is the best prevention.